Ashlee Simpson's got a Secret

Vocally challenged pop superstar Ashlee Simpson has reportedly signed a deal to appear as the public face of a new line of clothes from Victoria's Secret. I know what you're thinking. "Clothes" and "Victoria's Secret" don't exactly go together. The new line will be called Pink and, as Steve Hall rightly notes, that line will likely be marketed with such winking and nudging innuendos someone may suffer a sprained eyelid and shoulder. Some big things to note were that Victoria's Secret chose Simpson after apparently considering "American Idol" winner Kelly Clarkson, who just didn't have the curve. Also, Simpson chose to do this instead of appearing in a Playboy pictorial spread.

I honestly don't know how I feel about the paragraph I just wrote. I think I need to go take a shower.

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