CBS has decided to go after a seemingly untapped segment of the viewing population: breakfast eaters. Starting this fall, ads for CBS and its shows will be etched on eggs that will be shipped all over the country. According to this New York Times article, the etchings -- which will be put on 35 million eggs using a laser etching technology created by the EggFusion company -- will contain the network's eye logo, the name of one of its shows or a lineup day, and a lame joke usually involving eggs, shells, cracks, or all three (they're just as lame as my headline). Oh, and the eggs will also have an expiration date, which the purpose for which the EggFusion technology was created in the first place.

[via Mediabistro]

When Nielsen introduced its new minute-by-minute ratings system, one of the first networks that signed up for it was The Weather Channel. Scout's honor. I guess TWC was curious about how many people are watching their local forecasts as opposed to their constant stream of disaster doumentaries and "Could it happen to us?" specials. I didn't even realize TWC cared about ratings. I mean, it's the weather! Either you get it from TV or you, uh, stick your head out the window.

Anyway, TWC is now the first network to make an upfront ad deal based on those minute-by-minute ratings. According to this TV Week article, the network made a deal with media buying agency Starcom to air ads for eight of its clients. The network will examine the ratings yielded by commercial from Starcom's clients, and will provide buybacks if the ratings go below certain levels. Hm. Maybe they're on to something. I mean, if I just heard that a tsunami might hit the east cost in the next five years, I'd be too scared shitless to change the channel.

I never understood why New York stations play ads touting New Jersey tourism. Don't get me wrong; I love my home state. But New Yorkers don't have any desire to set foot in the state and my fellow New Jerseyans know exactly what there is to see here.

So I don't know what's gained by showing these ads here. Except, of course, for abject embarrassment. The current set of ads have scenes of people exploring the sights and frolicking down the shore, all accompanied by the song "Who Says You Can't Go Home?" by Bon Jovi.

Well, we all know that Jon Bon Jovi and his cohorts are state natives and residents. But did you know that the song used in the ad is the first one by a rock band to hit number one on the country charts? Thaaat's right kids. Not exactly "Living on a Prayer," is it? Yikes. Bon Jovi has gone country. Somewhere in Sayerville, a guy wearing a mullet and a "Slippery When Wet" tour t-shirt is crying in his Budweiser. And, yes, those guys still exist.

One of my favorite shows of the last TV season was Sons & Daughters (and not just because I had a fun time interviewing its creators), and one of my favorite characters on the show was Don, played by Jerry Lambert. Advertising fans may remember Lambert as the monotoned insurance representative from a series of Geico commercials. But Lambert's comedic skills really came to the fore in S&D, as the improvistational format of the show allowed him to portray Don as a seemingly-normal guy who's not too far off from being a complete lunatic.

Unfortunately S&D was given the boot by ABC. But now you can see Lambert improvise his way through a new series of Holiday Inn ads that are geared towards business travelers. In the ads, he plays the manager of a motley duo of inexpeienced travelers, and he tries to show them the ways of the road warrior's world. In the process, he makes fun of his points-card-less subordinate, feels sports broadcaster Joe Buck's throat, and screams a whale's mating call. It's all very good stuff, and plays into Lambert's ability to make stuff up as he goes along. You can see the ads on Holiday Inn's web site.

Monday's New York Times had a short article about a special advertising supplement in the current issue of Premiere magazine that blurs the line a little between journalism and advertising. The supplement, for the movie Little Miss Sunshine, contains an interview with star Greg Kinnear, conducted by Howard Karren, who happens to be a contributing editor to the very same Premiere magazine that contains the ad.

Hm. Kind of sounds like Karren's involvement is a bit of a conflict of interest, isn't it? When asked about the issue, Paul Turcotte, the publisher of Premiere said that these "advertorials" are done all the time in his magazine; he hires the writer and the content is sent by the magazine to the studio, in case Fox Seachlight, for approval. Turcotte feels that since Karren is a "contributing writer" (i.e. a freelancer), and not a staff writer, that there is no conflict.

I'll admit, I've written advertorial copy in the past. But not for the same magazine that I do editorial work for. Not really sure how bad of a journalistic breach this is, but it sure sounds sketchy to me.

I find it odd that Ford signed American Idol winner Taylor Hicks to an endorsement deal pretty soon after it launched it's "Bold Moves" campaign with original Idol winner Kelly Clarkson. And it's not for aesthetic reasons, like Bob mentioned a couple of weeks ago (much to the chagrin of hundreds of members of the Soul Patrol). I'm just wondering what was the purpose to signing not one, but two Idol winners to the campaign at the same time. Is it because they wanted one from each gender? Did they think Kelly was more rock 'n' roll and Taylor was more soul? Or do the marketing people at Ford have their heads completely up their asses?

This could be a stroke of marketing genius; after all, AI has a huge audience, and seeing both the first and the latest winners endorse the product might get more people in the showroom. But to people who aren't Idol fans -- like me -- this looks like niche marketing to me. I mean, there are other singers around; it makes non-fans think the auto giant is obsessed with the show, which can't be a good thing. What do you folks think? Let me know in the comments.

My favorite sportscaster (to me, that means a guy who sits behind a desk and gives the scores, not a play-by-play guy) is Warner Wolf. He was unique in the world of sportscasters when he was at his peak in the seventies and eighties: he had catchphrases - "Let's go to the videotape!", "Boom!", "Gimmie A Break!", "The Boo of the Week" -- way before Chris Berman ever had them, but he was respectful enough of the viewer to not let them get in the way of giving the scores. He was without a doubt the most entertaining sports guy in New York.

Since Wolf got unceremoniously dumped by WCBS-TV two years ago, I haven't heard much from him. I think he does sports talk on ESPN radio in NYC, and also does a sports report on WABC radio. But he's been pretty much missing from TV. That was, until I heard his familiar voice doing a commercial for the New York / Long Island Honda dealers. No celebrity endorsement, no kitschy use of any of the more famous Wolf-isms. Just a straight-ahead voice over for a local cable commercial. I mean, it's honest work, but it just makes me a little sad that Warner Wolf has to do voice overs while other, much-less talented sportscasters have national platforms. And, yes, I'm talking about Stephen A. Smith.

When I saw an ad for the upcoming Wayans Brothers epic Little Man, where Marlon Wayans' head is digitally grafted onto a kid's (or small adult's) body, I knew I had seen this technology utilized in the recent past, but couldn't put my finger on it. But a Gatorade commercial shown on ESPN reminded me. And it's freaking me out a little bit.

In the ad, titled "Big Head", children who just happen to have the adult-sized heads of Derek Jeter, Jennie Finch, Peyton Manning, Kevin Garnett and Dwayne Wade are playing various ball games in the street, trash-talking in children's voices and challenging each other as little kids do (I think).

So, let me get this straight: you're advertising a sports drink using encephalitic children whose humongous heads, by the laws of physics, would crush their spines if they existed in real life? Good luck, Gatorade. Something tells me lack of electorlytes isn't exactly these kids' biggest problem.

Oh, you can see the ad here. Click on the "Big Head" ad.

Late last night, my brother and fellow TV Squadder Rich, obviously desperate to find something to watch while trying to get one of his newborn twins to sleep, sent me an e-mail about the infomercials for Proactiv, an over-the-counter skin care system that's supposed to take care of adult acne. What surprised him was that both Jessica Simpson and Brooke Shields -- relatively big stars you wouldn't expect to see on an infomercial -- appear as Proactiv endorsers.

But being a denizen of late-night channel-flipping myself, I already knew that Proactiv has roped in even bigger celebrity pitchpeople than Brooke and Jess. Here's their current list of star endorsers, which also includes Kelly Clarkson (jeez, she's everywhere these days!), Vanessa Williams, and Kelly Clarkson. Proactiv also used to have Diddy as an endorser, but he's no longer in their commercials or on their web site (and, no, he didn't sue the company. That was an April Fool's Day hoax).

Either this stuff must work wonders or the Guthy-Renker folks have a lot of advertising money.

In May, Ford launched it's "Bold Moves" campaign, featuring Kelly Clarkson and her new song, "Go". Now, as most of my colleagues at my other blogging home, TV Squad, know, I have not watched more than a second of American Idol in the five years it's been on the air, so I had no idea Clarkson was singing the song when I first heard and saw the ads. Now I can't get the stupid song out of my head:

Let's Go / Let's Jump Right In / Screamin' To the Wind / Feel The Fire Within / I Can't Ignore This Burnin' In My Soul / C'mon Baby, Let's Go

(This is from a PDF straight from Ford. Wanted to make sure I got the lyrics right.)

(UPDATE: Commenter John provided me with a direct link to Kelly's Ford stuff. Click "Go" to hear a stream of the full song, if you want it to lodge in your brain forever.)

After I saw that it was actually Clarkson in the ads (she just started appearing recently), I felt even worse. It's one thing for me to get a song stuck in my head, but one by a former Idol winner? Double yikes. Now I have to go listen to the Pixies' Doolittle for a little while, just to flush Kelly's ditty from my brain.

I was going to ask readers what America's strongest brand name was, but I just realized I gave it away in the title. According to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, Reynolds Wrap -- not Nike or McDonalds or Coke -- has the strongest brand equity among American consumers. In fact, most of the top ten brands on the list are for common household products like Kleenex, Clorox bleach, Ziploc bags (which is in the top ten twice), Windex, and WD-40 (whose media support budget last year was a measly $25,400, according to the linked AdAge article). Heinz ketchup and Campbell's soup round out the top ten.

Nielsen Media Research told Adweek yesterday that they will be providing ratings information on commercials that are aired on all the five broadcast networks and on cable, starting this fall.

Previously, ratings were just provided for the programs themselves, but last fall, the networks requested that Nielsen provide average ratings for all paid national ads for each program aired. The ratings will be based on live views and seven days of DVR playbacks, a method that is currently under debate by advertisers during the network upfront ad-buying period.

If the networks like the results, they will use the numbers as part of their basis for setting ad prices in the 2007-08 season.

I've got to tell you, every time I see a Taco Bell commercial, I cringe a little. Some of my worst gastric distress has happened after "making a run for the border," so I stay away from that place, even if it's the only viable food option. So, I can't imagine going there late at night for any reason.

But the folks at Yum! Brands think that enough people ring the Bell late at night that they've created a new campaign called "The 4th Meal." You know, that's the meal between dinner and breakfast. To them, it's the perfect time to adhere to the "meal square", the elements of which are shown in the picture. The web site for the campaign lets you lead a PJ-wearing "alter ego" around a virtual town, playing games, watching ads and consuming food that's going to make you cry when you wake up in the morning.

All I have to say about all this is: Burp.

[via Pop Candy]

Today, Stuart Elliott of The New York Times details the launch of a new campaign by Kraft, under the punny umbrella "Kraft Your Summer." The campaign, created by the McGarry Bowen agency in New York, emphasizes the use of Kraft products in creative meal concotions, as people use the food giant's products to "Kraft" their meals (get it?). The ads will appear in pretty much any medium you can think of, including ads on supermarket floors and on produce stickers.

The TV ads, which can be seen at the Times web site, include ones where Michelle Kwan and Savion Glover putting together salad and Ritz sandwich creations, respectively, using Kraft products. The vibe in the ads is understated and more sophisticated than we're used to from Kraft. At least the creations look tasty (and healthy); I'm sure they'll be available at the kraftfoods.com web site pretty soon.

This is how my mind works: When I saw this interview in AdAge with Ted Ward, the VP of marketing for Geico (previously linked in our weekly AdAge roundup), a thought popped into my head: Who the hell does the voice of the Geico Gecko? As most people know, the Gecko sports a bit of a Cockney accent in his latest set of ads, but he used to have a bit more of an aristocratic voice. A couple of months ago, Ed Brice at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram got to the bottom of the matter, finding out that the gecko is currently voiced by British actor Jake Wood. Duncans.tv dives into the issue a little more, revealing that some of the previous voices of the gecko included, among others, Frasier's Kelsey Grammer. Duncan's site also shows video of some of the more recent TV ads.

Of course, Geico is still being coy. When AdAge asked Ward who played the gecko, all Ward replied was, "I can't tell you that. I'd have to shoot you." Ha ha. Those insurance executives are hi-larious, aren't they?