What I love about this old Fritos Corn Chips commercial is that it actually portrays Mexicans accurately. Every single Mexican I've ever worked with, dated or befriended would never dare to go outside without their giant sombrero, guns and bullets.

I kid, of course. Still, the Frito Bandito was a cool little ad character, and not unlike the Trix Rabbit, he wasn't against stealing to get the food he craved. The character was designed by animation legend Tex Avery (creator of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, among others) and voiced by Mel Blanc. The Bandito stuck around for awhile, but protests from groups angry over the stereotype eventually drove the character into obscurity.

The video below actually contains nine minutes of old commercials, but I think the very first one for Band-Aids is my favorite. Did you know that Band-Aid's adhesive is so strong you can lift an egg with it, and even boil the egg? Did you know that's a really odd way to show how sticky your adhesive bandage is? Did you know that if it's really that sticky it probably hurts like hell when you rip it off?

Even better, Band-Aids are "flesh colored," which is great if you exist in a commercial where everyone is white. So go ahead and scrape your knees, cut yourself shaving, and boil yourself. It's all good.

I'm always amazed at the simplicity of certain old toys, and how so many of those toys have outlived the more complex toys that came along decades later. Toys with lots of flashing lights and animatronic whatnots come and go, but you can still find yo-yos, Silly Putty, Slinkys and the like in pretty much any toy store. Something like this...

...is fun and exciting at first, but it doesn't ignite the imagination. It seems to offer more than say, a toy plastic car, but the Roboraptor, if anything, limits the child's imagination. You can't take it out in the sandbox, you can't spray it with a garden hose, and you certainly can't toss it on the roof and watch it crash into the sidewalk, virtually unharmed.

One of the best spoofs of these simple yet entertaining toys was the "Log" commercial from Ren and Stimpy, but younger folks might not know that it was actually a parody of a popular Slinky commercial. Take note, toy makers and toy advertisers: simplicity is good.

This is a really old Rocky and Bullwinkle opening clip complete with a General Mills product placement. I love how products were made a part of these old shows rather than today's method of sneaking in product placements. Hell, we know you can't have a show without advertisements, you might as well make it blatant. I'd love to turn on the TV and watch Colgate presents: Lost. Or something like that. Both Rocky and Bullwinkle also appeared in television and print ads for General Mills cereals, including Cheerios.

Oh yeah, and I love the theme song. Check it out:

These odd little print ads for an old-fashioned barbershop caught my attention because I love old timey places. I like barber shops where the only person working is an old man and you sit and read the local paper and talk about the price of soybeans while you wait your turn. I also love going to small towns and finding the local cafe or deli and hanging out with the townsfolk. I'm not being sarcastic, I really do love such places. It reminds me of where I grew up.

My only minor problem with these barbershop ads is the one that boasts the shop is so old timey it doesn't have a phone. Call me crazy, but maybe that's one modern convenience you should have, unless you expect people to send you a letter when they want a haircut.

The hell?

Is this a real commercial? It's from the 1980s, and it's an ad for something called "Synth coke," which seems to be like real cocaine, only not as expensive (but who knows if the effects were the same, better, or worse). The ad, which has all of the charm and production values of 80s porn movies, says that it's the way to a girl's heart (and other things) and that it can be found in "adult bookstores and boutiques throughout Manhattan."

I don't remember seeing this on VH-1's I Love The 80s.

[via Boing Boing]

Wilford Brimley is actually a fine actor, but unfortunately a generation will mostly remember him for his commercial work for Quaker Oats and Liberty Mutual. Unlike other celebrity spokespersons, Wilford always seemed very serious about the product he was pitching. After watching him pitch oatmeal or medical supplies I felt like a damn fool if I didn't go out and purchase those products, despite not being hungry or stricken by diabetes. I would watch his commercials in awe, waiting for him to finally go completely off the script:

Wilford: Okay, seriously, just eat some damn oatmeal. You're not foolin' anybody so just cut the crap and eat it. It's good for you, and you know it's good for you, so don't give me any damn lip. I've been around the block a few times, I know these things. When you're in your 80s you can tell other people what to eat for breakfast, you got it?

I think Wilford's commercials are fine the way they are, but someone found a way to jazz them up:

[via CC Insider]

So many dumb moments in business, so little time. But Business 2.0 mag has their picks for the 101 dumbest of 2006.

Wal-Mart is #1, for hiring a big firm to create their "Candidate Wal-Mart" campaign. #2 is Northwest Airlines, for giving their employees a "How To Save Money" booklet after laying them off. #3 is the contest McDonald's held in Japan, with the winners getting free mp3 players with a virus on them. The rest of the top 10 are GM, Kazakhstan, Steve Wynn, The New York Times, Spirit Air, Porter County, and Comcast.

There are 101 in all, so grab a hot beverage and get comfortable. You can't see the entire list on one page, which is a little annoying, but there is a handy scroll function at the bottom.

Below is an awesome little animated theater ad for Dr. Pepper, one of those spots that would play during intermission to get people to visit the snack bar. This was before the days of VCRs, DVRs and DVDs when seeing a film was much more of a social experience. You could see a movie, a cartoon short, and even the advertisements were fun and entertaining. This one was created by an animation studio in Dallas, Texas called Keitz & Herndon. I love the look of this commercial and the way the characters pop across the screen. The "jungle man" character would probably cause some flak today for being politically incorrect, but it's from a time when such caricatures were done without malice.

[via Cartoon Modern]

Funny satire of Second Life, the game that is sweeping the nation (though I've never played it once, gone to any sites about it once, or read much about it). It's called Get A First Life, and there really isn't much to the site (no links to click, etc). It's more of a one page parody of the entire Second Life genre, how people can actually access the real world outside of their homes.

"First Life is a 3-D analog world where server lag does not exist."

"Fornicate using your actual genitals."

Ha! You can get T-shirts too.

[via Boing Boing]

I think this commercial clip actually comes from an episode of The Tonight Show when Jack Black was a guest. That would explain the audience laughter heard when a young Jack Black pops up on the screen. The commercial is for Pitfall, one of the best Atari games ever. Pitfall helped me improve my running, jumping, swinging and falling-into-things skills. Also, it taught me that if you stand on a crocodile's head, it can't eat you. Also the best way to avoid a rattlesnake is to run straight at it and jump over it. If I ever become lost in the jungle, I should be able to survive with no trouble at all.

[via CC Insider]

The other night I woke up in a cold sweat. Confused and panicked, I began to fumble through the dark, pounding on the walls of my apartment and exclaiming, "won't somebody tell me Keith Partridges favorite cereal?"

That's when an angel flew into my apartment and directed me to YouTube, where I learned that not only does Keith Partridge favor Rice Krispies, but I should also eat the noisy cereal if I want to be like him. Then the angel put on a Batman costume, explaining he was only a part-time angel, and flew out my window.

I was glad to have my mystery solved, but seriously, Keith, what kind of lazy kid has his mother pour milk on the cereal for him? Why don't you just have her feed you in bed, too? My advice to all of you: eat Rice Krispies, but don't be like Keith. Pour your own damn milk.

Thank you.

The other night I caught a commercial for UPS and the Whiteboard section of its Web site. The site's purpose is to show how UPS can help with all your needs no matter who you are or how often you deliver packages. It's not a bad way to raise interest, but listen to the music playing in the background on the site, and in the TV spots. That song is "Such Great Heights" by the band The Postal Service.

Here's my theory: a secret agent from the United States Postal Service infiltrated the ad agency and insisted they use a song by the Postal Service in the ad, thus subliminally telling viewers to go out and use the United States Postal Service instead of UPS.

A cover version of the song has also been used in commercials for M&Ms. It's my belief that the USPS wants to lure everyone to the post office so its army of mail carriers can steal everyone's M&Ms.

Make the truth visible. Power to the people.

There's not a lot in this world that's funnier than one language loosely translated into another language. If you've ever purchased a toy produced in Japan, you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you can guess what the instructions are saying, and other times something just gets lost in the translation.

Here's a great example of what I'm talking about. Zompist hilariously dissects the packaging on what appears to be a plastic train set for preschool-age kids. It has the same bad translation from Japanese to English, which is understandable, but what's a little harder to explain is why the cover includes a laughing demon and dripping blood. I can only guess, but I think the package is telling children to appreciate their precious youth, for the twisted face of death peers over their shoulders at all times. Heavy, yes, but kids should know the edge of the Great Abyss is always just a heartbeat away, and no plastic train set is going to change that.

[via Boing Boing]