Continue reading Super Bowl Wrap-Up: 1/31/07

Wow, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say.

I'm talking about that commercial for Pepto-Bismol, the one where the advertising icons come to life and start attacking the city. They're crushing buildings with their feet and generally causing havoc everywhere. And then they get upset stomach and diarrhea. Maybe from all of the people they've been eating or something. Now, this seems like great news for the world. The giants will get sick and stop attacking the world, maybe even die, never hurting the world again. It would at least give the city some time to figure out what to do with the giants, blow them up or drug them or tie them up or something.

So why do they send in a helicopter with a giant bottle of Pepto? Why do they want to help the giants, make them feel better? The giants take the medicine, and the commercial ends with the monsters continuing to attack the city.

???

I guess the prospect of giants having diarrhea all over the city was worse than him stepping on people and crushing buildings.

What I love about this old Fritos Corn Chips commercial is that it actually portrays Mexicans accurately. Every single Mexican I've ever worked with, dated or befriended would never dare to go outside without their giant sombrero, guns and bullets.

I kid, of course. Still, the Frito Bandito was a cool little ad character, and not unlike the Trix Rabbit, he wasn't against stealing to get the food he craved. The character was designed by animation legend Tex Avery (creator of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, among others) and voiced by Mel Blanc. The Bandito stuck around for awhile, but protests from groups angry over the stereotype eventually drove the character into obscurity.

The video below actually contains nine minutes of old commercials, but I think the very first one for Band-Aids is my favorite. Did you know that Band-Aid's adhesive is so strong you can lift an egg with it, and even boil the egg? Did you know that's a really odd way to show how sticky your adhesive bandage is? Did you know that if it's really that sticky it probably hurts like hell when you rip it off?

Even better, Band-Aids are "flesh colored," which is great if you exist in a commercial where everyone is white. So go ahead and scrape your knees, cut yourself shaving, and boil yourself. It's all good.

I'm always amazed at the simplicity of certain old toys, and how so many of those toys have outlived the more complex toys that came along decades later. Toys with lots of flashing lights and animatronic whatnots come and go, but you can still find yo-yos, Silly Putty, Slinkys and the like in pretty much any toy store. Something like this...

...is fun and exciting at first, but it doesn't ignite the imagination. It seems to offer more than say, a toy plastic car, but the Roboraptor, if anything, limits the child's imagination. You can't take it out in the sandbox, you can't spray it with a garden hose, and you certainly can't toss it on the roof and watch it crash into the sidewalk, virtually unharmed.

One of the best spoofs of these simple yet entertaining toys was the "Log" commercial from Ren and Stimpy, but younger folks might not know that it was actually a parody of a popular Slinky commercial. Take note, toy makers and toy advertisers: simplicity is good.

• There's about to be an advertising show down between K-Y and Zestra, both of which make products to help with female sexual arousal. Zestra is a small brand but it's hoping that the wealth of clinical research it has done will help it compete.
• A bunch of middle-aged or outright old and rich white guys, all of whom preside over professional sports leagues, talk branding and other issues.
• I don't think "prepare" is the right word. I actually think TV stations are salivating over the estimated $1 billion that's about to be dropped on the upcoming Presidential campaign. One way they could handle the overflow of candidates looking for ad time is to divert some of them to the web.

This is a really old Rocky and Bullwinkle opening clip complete with a General Mills product placement. I love how products were made a part of these old shows rather than today's method of sneaking in product placements. Hell, we know you can't have a show without advertisements, you might as well make it blatant. I'd love to turn on the TV and watch Colgate presents: Lost. Or something like that. Both Rocky and Bullwinkle also appeared in television and print ads for General Mills cereals, including Cheerios.

Oh yeah, and I love the theme song. Check it out:

I was just watching a commercial for Colgate Total, and the woman in the ad is going on and on about how much she likes it, that her doctor recommended that she use it, etc, etc, and then she uses this line:

"It's the only toothpaste I use."

Well, so what? I'm sure the product is fine, but who switches toothpastes regularly? I think most people find a toothpaste that they like and they stick with it forever. They might switch to a different flavor or something, but I would be that very few people completely switch their toothpaste.

Not that they couldn't, of course, because there are approximately 3000 different types of toothpastes now. It takes me about 10 minutes just to find the one that I always use (Crest gel) because it's lost in all the other flavors and styles. Gah. Sometimes I think choice is a really bad thing.

• Microsoft is on the cusp of launching a $500 million campaign for the debut of its Vista operating system. That buys a lot of TV spots and banner ads but, ironically, only about a dozen copies of the software itself.
• With all the stories that have been printed lately about how Crispin Porter & Bogusky and how its work hasn't actually helped its clients, it's not that surprising to see a story like this that reminds us how wonderful and creative they are.
  
• Marketers are questioning just who the glamorous productions that are the upfront presentations are actually meant for. Networks could start to rein in how extravagant their shows are in the future under pressure that these are more shows than they are business meetings.

The hell?

Is this a real commercial? It's from the 1980s, and it's an ad for something called "Synth coke," which seems to be like real cocaine, only not as expensive (but who knows if the effects were the same, better, or worse). The ad, which has all of the charm and production values of 80s porn movies, says that it's the way to a girl's heart (and other things) and that it can be found in "adult bookstores and boutiques throughout Manhattan."

I don't remember seeing this on VH-1's I Love The 80s.

[via Boing Boing]

Wilford Brimley is actually a fine actor, but unfortunately a generation will mostly remember him for his commercial work for Quaker Oats and Liberty Mutual. Unlike other celebrity spokespersons, Wilford always seemed very serious about the product he was pitching. After watching him pitch oatmeal or medical supplies I felt like a damn fool if I didn't go out and purchase those products, despite not being hungry or stricken by diabetes. I would watch his commercials in awe, waiting for him to finally go completely off the script:

Wilford: Okay, seriously, just eat some damn oatmeal. You're not foolin' anybody so just cut the crap and eat it. It's good for you, and you know it's good for you, so don't give me any damn lip. I've been around the block a few times, I know these things. When you're in your 80s you can tell other people what to eat for breakfast, you got it?

I think Wilford's commercials are fine the way they are, but someone found a way to jazz them up:

[via CC Insider]

All of the Super Bowl commercials that Budweiser will run have been posted to YouTube. You can see snippets of all 8 of them on this page, or you can check out the video below. It condenses all the ads into 3 minutes and 9 seconds. The ads this year feature crabs, Clydesdales, a space station, and a hitchhiker with an axe.

One of them, "Rock, Paper, Scissors," has already run on television (at least I think it has, or did I see it online?), so it's not new or special for this Super Bowl. As for the other ads, again I say...eh. I've never been a fan of the Budweiser commercials, and I can never understand why they seem to win ad critic and viewer polls for best ads every year.

I like the one with the dog though. Dogs are cool.

The newest ad from Cisco jumps on the viral video craze, but I wonder if it confuses as many viewers who it attracts.

It's the one that shows the kid in the kitchen dancing, and he's filmed via cell phone camera by his dad. The video is put online and it becomes a sensation, a la that Star Wars kid on the "Lazy Sunday" video. Kids are watching it, the entire population of China is watching it, it's even broadcast on the big screen in Times Square.

First of all, I don't think any viral video has gotten that kind of attention. Second, the video seems to be perfect and flawless, on every screen it is shown on. And the way the ad is edited it seems like it's going over the web live, straight from cell phone to the web.

Will most people even know what Cisco is and why they are advertising?

So many dumb moments in business, so little time. But Business 2.0 mag has their picks for the 101 dumbest of 2006.

Wal-Mart is #1, for hiring a big firm to create their "Candidate Wal-Mart" campaign. #2 is Northwest Airlines, for giving their employees a "How To Save Money" booklet after laying them off. #3 is the contest McDonald's held in Japan, with the winners getting free mp3 players with a virus on them. The rest of the top 10 are GM, Kazakhstan, Steve Wynn, The New York Times, Spirit Air, Porter County, and Comcast.

There are 101 in all, so grab a hot beverage and get comfortable. You can't see the entire list on one page, which is a little annoying, but there is a handy scroll function at the bottom.

You've seen the commercials: a guy puts on some Axe body spray and/or body wash and he goes from being a nebbish to being mobbed in a way somewhere between the way that the Beatles were mobbed by women in the 60s and a Caligula-era orgy. I was wondering: does this really work? Is there some ingredient in Axe that makes the ladies go crazy?

Short answer: no. Long answer: no.

I used the stuff last week for three days in a row. I used the body wash and also sprayed the stuff on, and in three different situations I was completely ignored by females. Unless you count the clerk at the supermarket asking me "Do you have your Shaw's card?" as foreplay. Same thing at Border's Books and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Of course, I'm not saying the stuff doesn't work. Maybe I'm using it wrong?